People are social beings and we interact with individuals every day. Often, our happiness depends lots on how the interactions with each individual turn out.

This really is especially true of those whom we care about. However, because every personality we deal with is unique and presents its personal challenges, managing the myriad of relationships requires us to consciously observe the process so that we can continue to gain knowledge, understanding and experience in creating relationships in a positive way.

I have realized that to have very good management of relationships, we need to be assertive and honest in sharing our views, feelings and concerns. This can be especially important if you've found mr right and plan on keeping him.

However, this needs to be done in a way that doesn't provoke the other party, but is instead respectful and encourages both parties to listen to one another. A great way to do this is through the communication technique of "I" Messages.

In "I" messages, arguments are made about ourselves, how we feel and our concerns, and what actions of the other party has led to the concerns. "You" messages focus on the other individual and would usually lead the other party to become protective unless the "You" message is a positive statement of the other person.

For instance, a husband or wife is waiting for the return of the spouse and when the spouse returns, he or she might be greeted by this: "You are always coming home late! This "You" message results in the spouse feeling blamed and attacked and the ensuing communication would most likely not be an amiable one.

This might be hard to stay away from if you are having thoughts like, "is he married?" with regards to somebody you're dating. Try to spot a cheater before you accidentally get deeply involved with one.

On the flip side, in this same scenario, an "I" message would look like this: "I really feel rather lonely while waiting for you to come home." In this statement, the speaker shares his or her feelings and issues.

The clear communication of the concern is a very good starting point for both parties to work out what can be done about it.

"I" messages are effective because the focus is on the problem or concern and not on the other person. The sharing of the speaker's feelings may also lead to much more trust within the relationship as it shows the person is willing to look within himself or herself and take responsibility for their feelings.

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