A boundary is about telling your truth and taking action on it. Below are a couple of examples from the deangelo dating site.

"I'm no longer willing to be with you in public whenever you put me down. Next time you do that, I will announce to everyone that I'm unwilling to be put down by you anymore. Then I am going to leave and take the car or a cab home."

"I'm no longer willing to be late to gatherings because of you being late. Next time you are late, I will leave without you. If you continue to be late, then I'll just plan on taking separate vehicles."

"Your constant criticisms feel awful to me. From now on, when you are insulting, I will tell you that it feels awful and leave the room."

Then, obviously, you need to take the action you have said you would take. If you do not take the action, then what you've stated is a manipulation rather than a truth. A boundary indicates nothing until you're willing to take the action.

The challenging part of this has to do with your intent. If your intent is to control the other person as opposed to take loving care of yourself, then your declaration and action is just another form of control.

We can't hide our intent. It will constantly come through in our energy and our words. However when you try to mask your intent to control, the other individual will always pick up on it and most likely react to it with controlling behavior.

You are coming from a place of personal strength when your intent is to take loving care of yourself rather than control the other. Considering that you can't ultimately control another, trying to will leave you feeling irritated and powerless.

Only if you're in compassion for yourself will you be able to act on your own behalf. Compassion for yourself means that you happen to be 100% willing to take responsibility for your own feelings as opposed to attempting to get someone else to do it for you, or rather than attempting to control another's feelings.

It indicates that you are willing for the other person to be upset with you as opposed to continue to be treated unkindly.

This is pretty crucial when establishing who you are on your first date with someone. For extra fundamental dating suggestions, read, double your dating by david deangelo by searching: daviddeangelo.

People tend to mirror how we treat ourselves. When you tolerate unkind treatment, you are letting other people know that it's okay to treat you badly. By taking loving care of yourself in the face of others' unkind behavior, you might find that generally other people will respect you and treat you well.

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